We asked how to keep romance alive on the road. You answered. Enthusiastically.
Of all the questions we’ve put to our TAWKers over the years, this is the one that got the fastest, longest and by some distance the most detailed response.
Because it’s a real problem. You’re living in close quarters with small people who don’t knock, in a vehicle that broadcasts movement to the entire campground, and you’d still quite like some time as a couple.
So — how do you keep romance alive on the road? Here’s what came back. Names omitted, obviously.
What’s on this page
First, deal with the kids
Everything else is logistics. This is the actual obstacle.
The good news, reported by many, is that the road does a lot of the work for you:
Our kids are really good sleepers and usually completely stuffed by bed time when we are camping…or after they get up and go start playing in the morning….HELLO!!
We never had problems. Kids were so knackered at the end of the day they’d sleep through a bomb blast. In fact we seemed to “do it” more on the road than at home!
A full day outside will flatten a child more reliably than anything you ever managed at home. Use it.
Beyond that, the strategies divide neatly into relocate them and occupy them.
Relocate them
Get the kids their own tent to sleep in together.. Makes it fun, gets them out of the caravan, camper van and then they won’t feel the rocking van.
Put the kids in the car for a movie!
Occupy them
And here the ingenuity is frankly impressive:
Set up a tent for the kids and get them to do an art project that must take at least half hour, then go for your life!
Tip out a container of hundreds and thousands and tell the kids they can’t come inside until they have sorted them into colour groups.
We have nothing to add to that one. It’s perfect.
And for the older ones, a certain amount of psychological warfare is apparently permitted:
The threat of if you don’t go to sleep, you will hear it. Only useful on over 12s. 15 year old was completely grossed out but went straight to sleep!
When the kids are older you can send them to the movies/pool and get a couple of hours free time!
Then, deal with the van
This is where our TAWKers really came into their own, and where you realise how much collective engineering thought has gone into this problem.
Suspension and stabilisers
Heavy duty suspension and shocks on the van.
Crank stabilizer legs down tight, past manufactures recommendations.
The chains
A detail nobody thinks of until it’s too late:
Ensure you secure the chains on the drawer bar – otherwise they get a bit of a banging rhythm going if they are loose!!
Levelling and zips
For the camper trailer crowd:
Learn to keep it quiet! Also, our camper trailer didn’t rock as we made sure to level it well – and zips slightly apart.
Which is a good moment for this, from a TAWKer who went looking for advice and found rather more specific advice than expected:
I had found a blog titled ‘keep your zips open’ – got me reading, but turned out it was talking about the zips in your camper; you’re supposed to keep them apart enough so they don’t clang together while you’re ‘doing the deed’.
Ambient noise is your friend
On hot nights fire up A/C in van. Cold nights crank up reverse cycle heater. (if anything like ours it will drown out any involuntary noises.
Use your privacy curtains & take advantage if windy nights, just say it was the wind shaking the van LOL.
And the single best piece of technical advice on the entire page:
Make sure the inside lights are not on otherwise it looks like an adult puppet show.
You will never unsee that. Neither will your neighbours.
One family offered a structural workaround:
If necessary use the floor of the camper rather than the bed otherwise there’s way too much rocking!
And another had simply established house rules:
Have a rule “DON’T rock the van”
Which, as one family discovered, has consequences:
We had the kids fighting because one thought the other one was rocking the van hehehe Mmmm and we will keep it that way lol.
Change the time, or change the place
If night-time in the van is a losing battle, several families simply stopped fighting it.
Early morning special cuddles are good if kids have had late nights.
Or daytime stints when they’re off playing with other kids.
Turn outside lights off and have special cuddles under the awning. (Works well in National Parks or free camps when not to close to neighbors.)
Sneak into the shower rooms in the middle of the night.
If you can leave the kids alone (older kids of course) long walks and getting back to nature can work.
And a special mention for sheer opportunism:
Swim out just that little bit further than the kids when at beach.
The long game
A couple of families thought considerably bigger than a spare half hour.
When away for long periods of time shout a plane trip back to the grandparents/Aunts/Uncles for a week or two.
The grandparents get the kids, the kids get spoiled, and you get a fortnight. Everybody wins.
There’s also the family rooms trick, which is really a story about a small boy who worked out exactly what was going on:
Family rooms. Whenever there was one at a caravan park the kids were always with me when we checked in and I would say “Oh good Master H, you can have a bath tonight.” He started coming back with “I don’t want a bath anymore I want showers.” Me screaming. “YES YOU DO!”
The honest summary
One TAWKer laid out all the variables properly, and it’s the most complete answer we got:
A lot can depend on the age and sleeping habits of your kids. If you’re an inside/outside person or lights on/off person? How good your self control and suspension is? Of course where you are and how many other people or campers are around (also it’s not nice if it’s freezing cold, wet, windy and prickles in the grass!)
Prickles in the grass. There’s a story behind that one and we’re not going to ask.
“As long as the kids are asleep and don’t catch you, don’t worry about it!”
And the conclusion we’ll leave you with, because our TAWKers got there first:
As they say, where there’s a will, there’s a way to keep romance alive on the road! Have fun and enjoy!
Worried about the rather less romantic side of close quarters — the being-together-every-hour-of-every-day part? We’ve collected what families told us about living on top of each other too.
for Aussie families
